- This Post has 2 replies, 1 voice, and was last updated 2 years ago by
.
-
Post
-
Some days I look in the mirror and I pinch my skin and grab my face and pick out all of the little things that I hate about myself. I have struggled with an eating disorder (both anorexia and bulimia) on and off since I was about 14.
I know that what I see isn’t what the world sees but I have never truly loved myself. I talk down to myself when I’m in a crowded room. I tell myself I am ugly and I am fat on a daily basis and nothing I do works anymore.
I told myself that 2021 would be the year that I learn to love myself but I am not sure how to change my mindset. No matter how much I run or lift or put makeup on or change my hair it doesn’t change what’s on the inside. I have never told my friends any of this because I am scared I am the only one who feels worthless sometimes even when everything in the world around me is good.
I don’t know if anyone has advice but I need some help. Thanks everyone 🙂
-
Replies
-
-
-
I struggle with negative self talk, too. One simple step I learned is just to recognize it, and name it. Once I do that, I can usually find a way to stop and not let it snowball. If I’m drunk or high though, I usually struggle to not let it get out of control… Once you recognize it, say, “I will not speak badly of myself.” or “I love myself” or “I am a good person”. Even if it doesn’t feel true at the moment, the words usually help me. Personally, I also found my way back to Catholic prayer tradition, so sometimes when it’s really bad, I’ll say a Hail Mary and usually find peace pretty soon.
I don’t know how to break the habit though. Maybe just practice.
Thank you for sharing, Hannah. I had an experience over the holiday where I literally the spent whole night thinking and sitting in the dread of self hate, and I didn’t even know that’s what I was doing until your post helped me see.
-