Home Forum Topics Mental Health How do I learn to love myself?

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    Hannah SufrinHannah Sufrin

      Some days I look in the mirror and I pinch my skin and grab my face and pick out all of the little things that I hate about myself.  I have struggled with an eating disorder (both anorexia and bulimia) on and off since I was about 14.

      I know that what I see isn’t what the world sees but I have never truly loved myself. I talk down to myself when I’m in a crowded room. I tell myself I am ugly and I am fat on a daily basis and nothing I do works anymore.

      I told myself that 2021 would be the year that I learn to love myself but I am not sure how to change my mindset. No matter how much I run or lift or put makeup on or change my hair it doesn’t change what’s on the inside.  I have never told my friends any of this because I am scared I am the only one who feels worthless sometimes even when everything in the world around me is good.

      I don’t know if anyone has advice but I need some help. Thanks everyone 🙂

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          Also, you are beautiful, just the way you are, and it shines from your heart. Forgive yourself when you let self hate creep into your heart.

          Doing the work of actually going to therapy, something I have not been able to commit to, has helped my friends.

          I pray you find peace <3

        • #1463 Reply

            I struggle with negative self talk, too. One simple step I learned is just to recognize it, and name it. Once I do that, I can usually find a way to stop and not let it snowball. If I’m drunk or high though, I usually struggle to not let it get out of control… Once you recognize it, say, “I will not speak badly of myself.” or “I love myself” or “I am a good person”. Even if it doesn’t feel true at the moment, the words usually help me. Personally, I also found my way back to Catholic prayer tradition, so sometimes when it’s really bad, I’ll say a Hail Mary and usually find peace pretty soon.

            I don’t know how to break the habit though. Maybe just practice.

            Thank you for sharing, Hannah. I had an experience over the holiday where I literally the spent whole night thinking and sitting in the dread of self hate, and I didn’t even know that’s what I was doing until your post helped me see.

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